Tiger Woods Misses His Drive And Decides Not To Finish Round/ Tiger Woods Drama

Blogs or Posts, David's Writing

Tiger Woods, the world’s number one golfer, apparently missed a short drive the other day with his Caddy and ended up in the trees.

Why is this news? It’s not the first time he has missed a drive after all.

Oh wait! He missed his driveway.

And then there was the collision with a fire hydrant.

This was probably the first time he ever hit one of those. The force of all that water shooting out of the ground could probably lift a car straight up in the air.

I’m just wondering if he wasn’t distracted by something.

I am reminded of the time that President Clinton and Greg Norman were hanging out together and The President fell off the porch and tore up his right knee. Maybe Greg was with Tiger early Friday morning.

Maybe Greg was talking to Tiger and the same sort of thing happened.

The results are eerily similar. In the first case you had Bill Clinton lying on the ground looking up at Greg and wishing he was someplace else.

And in the second case you have Tiger looking up at Greg and wishing Greg was someplace else.

To be fair, however, it seems unlikely that the distraction that caused Tiger to miss his driveway was Greg Norman. Maybe he was just not feeling well and he wasn’t being very careful.

What do you think happened early Friday morning to Tiger? He hasn’t said much about it so there’s room to consider all sorts of stuff. The imagination runs wild especially during a long holiday weekend .

It’s Florida after all. And a hundred miles or so away is the coast of Florida. And we all know what lies out there in the mysterious waters just east of the mainland.

The Bermuda Triangle!! That’s right sports fan! It just may be that Tiger went for a ride far, far beyond his front yard and his gated community in the early morning hours.

Maybe SOMEBODY wanted a golf lesson and they didn’t quite know how to ask. So they beamed him up to the space ship and out to sea and a fabulous golf resort that doesn’t even show up on radar or even OnStar. He was back in his driveway fifteen seconds later after playing eighteen holes (their time) but they didn’t quite get him in the right spot when the they beamed him down.

Would you want to tell everybody what you had been doing if this happened? Of course not. Who is going to believe you?

Nobody. Well maybe a few people.

But enough of this foolishness. Imagination has its limitations.

Many of us cannot imagine how difficult it is trying to live a normal family life when the whole world knows who you are and watches your every move with interest.

Raising young children is a very challenging task for any young parent. They sometimes cry or scream for no apparent reason. They are little germ factories and are often up at odd hours of the night when they don’t feel well. They will turn your life upside down without even trying.

And the journey from being a young adult to being a middle-aged parent only takes a few years. Relationships between husbands and wives can change dramatically during this time. Many of the things we enjoyed about our husband or wife may seem to have vanished.

It’s a trip to the twilight zone in short order.

We wish Tiger the best as he tries to extricate himself from his predicament. And there’s only a couple bits of advice I can give him. In the words of a former President who had a similar mishap. . .

Keep It Simple.

And in the words of the great Ray Charles. . .

Let’s go play some golf.

One thought on “Tiger Woods Misses His Drive And Decides Not To Finish Round/ Tiger Woods Drama

  1. Dear David,

    This is beyond brilliant. Your wit and humor are simply first class all the way. I had NO idea it was THIS grand. I laughed so hard last night, first over the other post and then this one. And it wasn’t any piddly little chuckle. I’m talking serious OUT LOUD sitting at my desk clutching my stomach laughter.

    Maaaan, you are sitting on a gold mine. I am outrageously funny in the flesh…well, I mean in person, but I am not good at all at writing humor. This whole thing is SOOOOOO funny at every turn, even when you start to talk more seriously about being a young parent and raising kids, etc., and the reader starts to settle down a bit and then you slam them with:

    “It’s a trip to the twilight zone in short order.”

    And I just LOST it again. I don’t even know if you see how funny you are. If this is what your frustration produces then PUH-LEEESE send some my way. As my frustration simply produces a mute. LOLOL!!!!! 🙂 You think I’m kidding…NOT!

    Thank you for making me laugh so hard that it hurt! I am really really proud of you. Let it rip my friend. All you have to do is just be YOU and it is so dynamic there will be few who can keep pace with you.

    Hugs from outer space,
    Robin 🙂
    .-= Robin Easton´s last blog ..Lifting the Lid on Age and Death =-.

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