The Blogger Contemplates Going To Heaven/ Lord of the Rings Online Quests/ New England Patriots Lose To Saints

Blogs or Posts, David's Writing

I woke up this morning about seven am shivering with cold. At first I thought it was the result of close contact with a wonderfully cute but contagious little germ factory. I was around the grand kids over the Thanksgiving weekend. It was a great time for Grandpa but after awhile I actually started referring to them as little germ factories which I’m afraid did not endear me to their home offices.

Or their parents as they are known in polite circles. But we all survived.

For a brief moment earlier I thought that maybe I was sick with a cold or something worse.

But this bit of information changed the earlier assessment:

Feels Like

That’s right. There is a map somewhere on the internet that shows a giant H sitting on the eastern portion of the United States.

It’s cold out this morning. And I can’t go to Middle Earth to warm up either. Because the folks at Turbine who maintain the grounds and the quests over at Lord Of The Rings Online/ Mines Of Moria are installing an entirely new area and the whole place is shut down. Here’s a preview of the new deal.

I don’t think I can accurately portray the excitement that exists among players of this game as they await the opening of their new stomping grounds. Yesterday I heard several comments one would usually hear around the main entrance of a bustling germ factory on the night before Christmas.

Players are excited and in a few hours the new area called Mirkwood will be opened up. But they are going to have some sort of lottery system so that everybody doesn’t crash the place right off the bat. I don’t know when my little Elf Breezee will be able to visit and inevitably get killed. He always dies a few times when he goes in to a new place in Middle Earth. The good news is that he has plenty of gold and silver for armour repair because he enjoys using the Auction House and sells quite a bit of stuff at good Middle Earth prices.

The other good news is that his father doesn’t have a cold or something much worse. Just as a precaution I have a bottle of Purell Hand Sanitizer right here. It fits in a shirt pocket.

And I almost never leave this room. That’s the final part of the plan drawn up after President Obama told us about H1N1 many months ago.

1. Use hand sanitizer
2. Go to Middle Earth and be killed
3. Don’t leave your room

B and I didn’t get the H1N1 flu shot because we felt like it was rushed to market. It’s probably fine and I wouldn’t worry about it if you took one. Worst case scenario you arrive in Heaven a little bit early but then you get to enjoy all the games before your friends. You’re an expert when they arrive and are able to beat the living crap out of them for awhile.

See? There’s a silver lining in every cloud. In a future post we may go over some of them just to prove the point. For example, let’s say I leave my room this morning, go downtown and get hit by a bus.

What’s the silver lining?

There are actually several.

1. Lots of government workers have a good excuse for being late to work. They shut the road down when something like this happens.
2. Breezee never dies again in Middle Earth.
3. I become proficient at all the games in Heaven before you do. When you arrive I will beat you for awhile. You may think that competition isn’t important in Heaven but maybe you haven’t noticed all the Pro football players who point to it every time they make a touchdown. If those guys are going there. .

It’s going to be a competitive place. Believe it.

By the Way. . .did you see the great football game last night between the New Orleans Saints and the New England Patriots?

Over Thanksgiving I bet one of our family members one hundred dollars that New England would get to the Super Bowl because I grew up watching the Boston Patriots.

Stupid, stupid bet. So what is the silver lining in this scenario?

Can you say “one less Christmas present to buy?”. No. That wouldn’t be right.

How about this? The blogger has a bit less money to spend so he decides to buy less gasoline in the coming months. He never goes out for lunch and avoids crappy burgers and fries. He stays home and eats lettuce and mushrooms. He loses weight walking around the neighborhood and starts to look better. His wife is charmed by his new presence and talks him into taking her out on Friday night.

So he takes her downtown to a fancy nightclub. They arrive and he jumps out of the car to open her door. . .

And you know what happens next. Right?

Go ahead.

That’s why there is a comment section.

6 thoughts on “The Blogger Contemplates Going To Heaven/ Lord of the Rings Online Quests/ New England Patriots Lose To Saints

  1. I. Cannot. Stop. Laughing.

    David, I think I need to make a new category in my Google Reader. “Humor.” And it’s just for “David’s Posts.” 🙂

    I love your take on life! I’ve gotta get dressed properly (flannel shorts and fuzzy scuff slippers don’t cut it when going to the feed store for horse medicine), and I’ll take your words with me, being mindful of opening the car door…and yet not worrying about it overly much, either. 😉
    .-= Julie´s last blog ..A Different Thanksgiving =-.

    1. Lol Julie. It’s difficult coming up with categories for sure. You sit and write something. Then when it’s done we have to become little librarians and figure out where it goes.

      Have fun going out to the store. I’m going out too. Someday.

  2. Hi David

    Well it is so good to hear that you are well and not sick! And let us not go into the whole cold thing… Although I must tell you I have been doing so well this fall so far that the cold for the first time in my life I think, has not bothered me that much.

    As for the H1N1 – good for you for not getting the vaccine. That whole thing is so blown out of proportion. The H1N1 isn’t even as serious as a regular flu. And the vaccine is making some people really, really rich.

    Eat healthy. Stay positive. Stay as active as you can. Those will help more than anything else.

    P.S. Have you ever looked into magnesium for the RLS? Been looking into the power of magnesium and it is pretty impressive, including the fact that most of the population is deficient in it and it plays out in people in various ways. RLS seems to have a link to it.
    .-= Evita´s last blog ..James Reno: A Raw Food Journey To Reversing Diabetes =-.

    1. Magnesium? Cool. No I have not tried that. I will get some and see if it works. Nice to see you and I’m glad you are feeling well. And you’re not even shivering a little up there? Nice. Let me know how it goes in January. 🙂

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