The Blogger Is Cheered By His Numbers/ Santa Claus Is Coming To Town

Blogs or Posts, David's Writing

During the past year my stats have been pretty stable but they also have had a downward tilt in terms of monthly visits. This led me to believe that at some future point readers would disappear completely.

How sad it was to contemplate this! Why write and take photos if no one is going to see your work? If a bear falls down in the woods and nobody is there to hear him does he actually make a sound?

Tree! Excuse me. A tree is supposed to fall down in the woods and not make a sound. A bear does something else. Sorry. I got the two stories mixed up.

In any case I looked in the Cpanel at a completely different reader counting system called Awstats and it says I have an increased readership for the year of over fifty percent! Visits went up from 20 thousand in January to 33 thousand in November. That’s probably over a 60 percent increase . My math is not great but in any case this was good news. Lots of people say that Awstats wildly overstates visits and maybe they do. I was more concerned with the trending since we can assume that they were doing the same things all year long.

They separate their robot counts and their people counts too by the way.

My readers are not robots! They have eyes! Over sixty six thousand of them in November apparently. Of course not all of those eyes stick around long enough to even focus on the title of the blog before they are off on another journey.

But some of them did and it is encouraging to the blogger to realize that his blog is not going to sink below the surface in the future while he furiously tries to save it with the written word and the edited photo. Futility is such an unhappy state of affairs.

So thank you readers for visiting and I hope you will leave a comment or two after you have finished reading. Comments are more encouraging in general than stats. And they also give some of us ideas for future posts.

B told me that we may have snow in a couple of days. Snow before Christmas! Imagine. Santa always likes it when he has actual snow on the big night for his roof-top landings. Braking is not an issue because he comes (almost) straight down. The snow just cushions the bump when he lands.

If you have ever landed in a crowded jet with two sleeping pilots you know about the bump and why Santa tries to avoid it.

Santa likes snow in general because people tend to stay indoors when it snows at night. They like to stay warm and look out the window every once in awhile to see how deep is the snow. There is something very magical about this to small children. They will look out the window often to see if the snow is covering the bushes or the cars on the street.

It thrills them to think about being buried in the snow.

And Santa wants them to stay inside. If the children were out running around there would be a small chance that he would be discovered while flying around and landing on people’s houses.

So it’s better that the children stay indoors. And it really doesn’t matter if their parents stay inside or go outside and try to hunt Santa down. Because they can’t see him anyway. He’s invisible to adults unless they are homeless and have been sitting in the snow drinking wine for at least six hours.

Those people deserve to see Santa even though many of them do not believe he exists. Almost anyone who is going to have a really bad Christmas deserves to see Santa.

I can’t see Santa. When he hits the roof I probably won’t hear him either. Because it’s going to snow. And that will ease the bump and make Santa go “HO-Ho-Hoooo”. Generally he wakes up the whole neighborhood when he does that!

But then we just say something like “Ha! That sounded like Santa. I must be hearing things again.” And we go back to sleep. Or we go play on the computer because most of us can’t sleep. This can go on for years until one day we get a leaky roof and a technician tells us that we are going to need some expensive work done up there.

“I thought those shingles were guaranteed for thirty years!”

Not if it doesn’t snow more than a couple years in a row. The runners on Santa’s sleigh tear them up pretty bad. And insurance doesn’t cover it. Because if you work for an insurance company you can’t see Santa.

Even if you lose your job and end up in the snow drinking wine. Same with bankers and stock brokers. Lawyers too.

So if you are one of these don’t lose your job. And don’t go out in the woods on a snow night hoping to drink some wine or hear a tree fall either. Because there’s only one thing waiting for you out there.

And it’s not Santa.

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