It’s about two days since the blogger wrote about coming down with a cold. And he’s not doing well. He invested in a Vick’s steamer thing and it’s putting out a very lame amount of steam. The directions say you should add salt if your water in soft. Is our water soft? I don’t know. Let me ask it.
It’s three am and I’m tempted to run downtown and find an a drugstore that’s open all night, buy the biggest bottle of cough syrup on the shelf and drink it there in the aisle. But I don’t like going out in the middle of the night. It feels weird. It’s kind of eerie. I’m sure it’s safe but still. . .what if a spaceship is in the neighborhood?
I wrote about taking a ride in a spaceship in the previous post about being sick. And the only thing anybody questioned was my age!
You’re not 57!
That I hang out with aliens is apparently not questionable.
Colds are not really too bad except for the coughing. Coughing makes a cold about ten times worse. We need better cough management in this country. We need cough managers who will take people aside and coach them when they wander around in public spewing germs.
9 am: I went to sleep around four in the morning and slept four hours curled up in a ball with a small fever. But then when I awoke every muscle ached and every cough tinged them like a silver ball in a pinball machine. The drugstore is open now but B has to get ready for a reunion breakfast with some old classmates. And I can’t drive without doubling over in a coughing fit. What to do?
This is not looking great. Here I am sitting here in my underwear, sick and disheveled, while B is getting ready to go see old classmates (one of whom may be an old fantasy of some sort. . .who knows?).
Maybe I should put on some pants and a shirt. That might help.
Oh wait! She’s going to squeeze me in! She is heading out the door to the drugstore for the biggest bottle of cough syrup and DayQuil she can find! THIS is why she is the most wonderful person in the entire world! Thank you my blessed pet. You are an inspiration to those of us who have not yet reached the plateau of selfless giving on a full-time (or even part-time) basis. Now go have some fun with your old classmates. I have not one doubt in the world about your unabated love for the bloated blogger even though he is a paranoid sort of guy and has sixteen different ages on the internet.
You are so special I can only begin to imagine why I am here.
* * *
11 am: So now the cold symptoms are under control and I’m watching Harry Potter in the dreary sixth movie where he loses his mentor, the wizard-in-chief, Prof Dumbledore while I’m writing and playing Lord Of The Rings Online. That seems like a lot of activity for someone who was so recently contemplating a hospital bed. Do you think there might be some sort of stimulant in all these medications he is taking?
I don’t know. Let me ask them.
In any case things are definitely looking up and I hope everyone has a great weekend. It’s Saturday morning and I can hear a lot of activity out there. Chain saws. Leaf blowers. Lawnmowers. Hovering spaceships. It’s all out there and we can only hope order remains a universal priority.
When you look outside and see little gray guys with big eyes mowing your backyard you know this is no longer the case.
And it is time to worry.