In the first place, I don’t think we have yet found a good name for the day after Thanksgiving. We are, as of now, in the middle of it and I’m sitting here at the computer wondering why, in heaven’s name, anyone would call it black Friday. Or Black Friday. It’s not the shortest day of the year, the Winter Solstice, on or about December 21. Today we have had lots of sunshine, in fact. There’s some history behind the name including references to Philadelphia traffic congestion as shoppers hit the streets to buy stuff the day after Thanksgiving. There’s also the notion that retailers are in the black (as apposed to red ink) due to big sales volumes for the first time in their yearly quest for positive revenues.
The problem is that this day is a train wreck. And black is beautiful. So why not call it F’ed Up Friday? Or, F Me Friday (why do people do these things to themselves?). Finally Forked Friday would also be good (stick a fork in me, I’m done.) In fact, there’s a report today that a young lady stuck a fork in the neck of one of her dinner guests yesterday. But that was Thanksgiving, so the mayhem had not officially begun.
Today we have reports of someone rushing into the store to be first in line and jumping in front of hundreds who had waited all night to pick up their bargains. Unsurprisingly, gun play erupted. The line jumper hid behind a refrigerator and made his escape. But I imagine the true tragedy here is that many folks lost their place in line during the scramble while avoiding getting shot!
Mass insanity lies just beneath the thin veneer of civilization, people. It’s not a good idea to mess around with Mother Nature unless you want to want to enjoy a Mad Max lifestyle on a regular basis. Let’s stick with regular shopping hours and stop giving away nearly free stuff to the first fifty folks in line! It’s better to save! Order on-line! Let the UPS dude do your walking!
Go sit under a tree and reflect upon the true blessings of life. Or volunteer to help at your local shopaholic center. We are witnessing something akin to mass hysteria and it’s only going to get worse. And don’t get me started on the media. They love to focus the lens on the worst of it. And we love to watch it (from a safe distance). Everyone loves drama until it gets up in your face. And then we are happy to see it leave. It’s all just very sick.
And this is the way we begin the holiday season. NOW we all can focus on buying presents! This year 47 percent of America would prefer to to give up the gift giving aspect of Christmas. And who can blame them? Jobs are scarce and prices are up. Do we all need more anxiety as we try to find something that will inspire happiness in those we love?
Here’s what they will love. . .not having to do the same for us! Let’s just love each other and donate to our favorite charity! I’m seriously considering this as my next move. I’ve got a good excuse. . .old age! Dementia! My ex-wife stole my money! Whatever! Seriously, I’m going to start framing my photos and handing them out next year. And, in return, I will expect nothing. Please don’t give me a gift! I’m begging you.
And have a fabulous Friday in your home making some delicious cookies, or something. In fact, if you must, I would love to have some of those! Christmas should be about making things out of love, up to and including a fallout shelter to share with your loved ones during the coming Apocalypse.